The Bigger They Are - APEX 06/26/22

Of course, just when I thought that things could not get any worse, I am thrust into yet another match I am ill-prepared for! What is this all about?! Do not get me wrong, I understand the ladies all love seeing El Pavo Real on their television screens at every chance they get… but a man needs a break, no? José Legado has been stressing to me for weeks that I am overworked and that I am in need of a rest and yet I continue to find myself booked in match after match on these APEX weekly show cards. Was my match against Arata Asakura not proof enough? I need time off. I need a chance to relax and focus on the joys of life: partying and women. How else am I supposed to unwind and prepare if I cannot do that? As a matter of fact, I was not even scheduled to be in this match! While I am always happy to aid my friend Jessie in his time of need -- especially against the likes of Alec Fernandes and Kevin Maverick -- this was not supposed to be my battle. Where is Bea Havertz?! Why is she not in this match!? She was a part of that little verbal scuffle too and yet she is nowhere to be seen while I’m thrust into this six man match like I’m expendable.

Well here’s some breaking news for you all, ladies and gentlemen. Arturo Cabello is anything but expendable. If I’m going to wrestle yet again on APEX then you best be damn sure I’m going to give it my all. I’m going to show up, show out, and prove yet again just how much better I am than those pitiful losers Kevin Maverick and Alec Fernandes. Even if they have found themselves a new, very tall friend, it won’t change the fact that Jessie B. and I have them outmatched. We’ve proven as much but I guess now we’re going to have to prove it again. I’m sure the two of you must be shaking in your boots now, knowing the man who led our team to victory is once again standing across the ring from you. I’m sure you remember it was my deadly Volador Kick that turned the tide of battle and allowed Jessie B. to get the pinfall in our time of need. Well guess what? Things are going to go even poorly for you this time. You see, José Legado may not be with us this weekend but he’s lent me some sage advice ahead of our match. He taught me something very important… and that teaching is going to come into play tonight when the three of you fall flat on your faces.

Funnily enough, I’ve gone back and watched you during your time playing futbol, Fernandes, and it seems like falling flat on your face is all you’ve ever been good for. I’m sure you came to APEX thinking that you would be able to avoid such misfortune and yet you’re facing me again, guaranteeing yet another failure. That must put a pit on your stomach, knowing that you can’t beat me. And Kevin Maverick? Ah, what a waste of athleticism. Is there anything more I should have to say? Your attempts to get one up on us have been laughable.

Then there’s Jimmy Jihad, the American Nightmare, the giant, the absolute behemoth of a man… and, well, you know what they say: The bigger they are, the harder they fall. I think it’s about time El Pavo Real tests that theory, don’t you think?

I’ll see you in the ring, amigos.