To say that I’ve been in a bad mood for the last few weeks would be a horrific understatement - order has transformed from a friend to a foe and my life has quite literally been flipped upside down. There’s no need to dive into detail, certain changes to the life of Alyssa Grace are very much public and the changes that are private shall remain so until I see fit, until I decide otherwise, the world shall be granted permission to be under the impression that they possess more knowledge than what they actually do.
Furthermore, to say that I’m tired of dealing with individuals like the self proclaimed Order of APEX Wrestling would be a horrific understatement too. Shame on me for believing that for a brief moment in time that I had freed Liz and myself from the large chip that rests on our shoulders. Havoc specifically seems to be a creature I just can’t free myself from and whilst once upon a time, the mere presence of an entity so powerful it shook multiple wrestling companies to their core at the same time would have me trembling ever so slightly in my boots, since becoming acquainted, against my will, with what once was the most feared entity in professional wrestling, the only emotion I feel when I gaze into the cold, dead eyes of Havoc is boredom. Havoc plagued and almost overtook every war I waged with the wife of Christopher Sabertooth and I showed no fear then, when I was fighting alone, why would I show fear now when I have two of the fiercest warriors this sport has ever crafted in my corner? Allow me to be frank and explicit here, fear is an emotion based on the unknown, a foreseen panic or terror that consumes the body, jitters, shakes, suddenly helplessness take over. I feel none of that. When Havoc is involved in any conversation I merely roll my eyes and prepare to do what I know I am capable of doing - swatting a pathetic insect away everytime it feels courageous enough to rear its ugly head. I’d be well in my right to hate Havoc but truth be told, I can’t bring myself to allow him to have the honour of provoking such a strong emotion out of me. He isn’t worthy of my hate. Annoyance? Most certainly. But nothing stronger than that. Even if he has decided to make his apparent dislike-ability the biggest aspect of his personality, I cannot bring myself to get there. Maybe it’s that chronic sense of indifference of mine that I have installed into my psyche this year. As much as I appreciate the many aspects of this industry, it’s almost a guarantee that each time my name appears on a card, my opponent is going to wave my lackadaisical attitude regarding uploading an inhumane volume of promotional material week after week after week. Havoc and co included. Now, I am not particularly sure why Havoc thinks he has a warrant to speak about me in the way he has done considering I’ve sonned him so hard in the past he should call me mom but it’s whatever really, we all know that his words have no truth behind them and he’s only being so derogatory towards me and my relationship with Liz to comfort himself. He can wish that all the things he says about me, my name and my importance to this business were true because if they were, he and his buddies would maybe, maybe have a chance at walking away from this match victorious. Maybe, my indifference is less of an ‘Alyssa problem,’ and more of a ‘Havoc-is-not-worth-my-time-or-energy’ problem. Take that as you will. He may have successfully convinced himself that he’s the deadliest weapon in this company but whatever hope he might have had about being the most unbearable outspoken member of the APEX locker room went out the window when Liz and I came back knocking on APEX’s door.
And now onto probably the only threat the Order provides, and even then, it isn’t that much of a threat, JUDITH. What’s up ya big bitch? Alright, let me not, I’ll take this as seriously as I can. For the most part, I don’t have any issues with Judith. Like.. she’s here, she defeated Emmy for the Next Level Championship, she barely survived an impressive Chelsea Creed and soon she’s going to lose to ULTRA Kyoto, so like.. cool. Despite the manner in which it occurred, Liz beat Judith and that reassures me that we can put her away once again. Keeping her down may be a bit more challenging but that isn’t important right now. There isn’t much to be said about Judith that hasn’t been said before because despite her best efforts to stand out from the crowd and be the opposite of a cliche such as Bea Havertz, she’s failed to see that she’s become the biggest cliche of them all. But I get it. I do. In a drastic effort to try and get attention, Judith wants to be hated. She thrives off negative attention, hoping that it’ll be enough to get her ahead in this industry because there’s no such thing as bad press. Meanwhile, no matter how hard she huffs and puffs, she isn’t moving mountains like she thinks she is. She isn’t rustling any feathers, she isn’t disturbing anyone’s peace and she certainly doesn’t matter to important people. But I suppose the world of wrestling is sadly used to much worse than what Judith brings to the table. Judith fails to understand what Liz and I, as a duo and as single competitors are willing to do to keep our spots as top dogs round here, add in the rising star Hideo to the mix and the end result doesn’t favour the Order. I have been bred to survive. I was under the belief that in life you only have two options - adjust or perish, turns out there’s a third option that exists, an option reserved for women like me and women like me only. Evolution. The one thing I want Judith to take out of this is an interpretation of reality and fantasy, what is fallacy, what is actuality. The entire world including herself can continue to say that I have never faced anyone like Judith before and whilst that may be somewhat true, Judith has never faced a woman like me either. A woman that is not afraid of pain, for it has become a stimulus for pleasure.
Last and certainly least, there’s Judith and Havoc’s pet project who should probably have been euthanized for the benefit of everybody a long time ago. The kind of chaos caused by CHAOS is nothing more severe than a toddler throwing their toys across the room because they weren’t allowed a cookie. It might be a little annoying but it’s easy to fix and in spite of everything that the Order have put Liz and I through, my patience is surprisingly high. If CHAOS wishes to spend his already limited time worshipping the false idol that is Havoc, he is free to do so, I’m not one to shame others for their interests even if said interests are unconventional and down right creepy but if he wishes to stick his painted nose in business that doesn’t concern him in the slightest then I’ll happy prove that not all dreams can come true. Some may consider the treatment that will be dished out to Chaos as criminal behaviour but I consider it a mercy killing. For the greater good.
Hideo and Liz are the two greatest people in my life and although I wish the circumstances of our teaming were different so I could seize the opportunity to enjoy it to its fullest and not just look past the “challenge” before us, I am honoured to share a ring with my two favourite individuals. I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing Hideo’s transformation from a young lion with starry eyes and dreams that once appeared to be bigger than comprehension into a fierce warrior with eyes that may still be starry but with determination like no other laced into them, his dreams aren’t just dreams any longer. And Liz is Liz. That’s the biggest compliment I can give to the toughest cunt I know and love. On paper, we’re the dream team and in reality we’re the nightmare team for those who oppose us. If it is blood that the Order wishes to shed, that is the only wish of theirs I shall be willing to grant.. they will just be surprised to find that the blood coating their hands doesn’t belong to us.
by MinaAizawa Thu Oct 13, 2022 3:46 am
Subject: Tired. 
