Chasing the sun.

Posts : 24 Join date : 2022-03-03 Age : 24

IV. CHASING THE SUN.

Some things are too terrible to grasp at once. Other things - naked, sputtering, indelible in their horror - are too terrible to really grasp ever at all. It is only later, in solitude, in memory that the realisation dawns: when the ashes are cold; when the mourners have departed; when one looks around and finds oneself - quite to one's surprise - in an entirely different world.

When I try to summarise how I feel regarding my absence from APEX Wrestling and my performance as a competitor overall recently, that is the best I can do. Things have certainly been less than ideal and honestly, the little break I was fortunate enough to have, has done wonders for me. Which is bad news for everyone not named Finnegan Wakefield or Liz Karlson. I can understand the confusion some have regarding my new found partnership with the latter, considering the last time I was here, Liz pinned my shoulders to the mat for three painful seconds to retain what was, at the time, her world championship. Despite trying to murder her on more than one occasion and despite almost being murdered by her on more than one occasion, I’ve found myself to be incredibly fond of her. The thing is, I’ll never be what she is, I’ll never walk in her skin. She’ll never be what I am, she’ll never walk in my skin. But that’s the magic of it. We’ve stumbled as of late. We’ve failed as of late. So now what? We look at one another in the eye and we change, again, again and again. There'll never be a place where everything is perfect, where we get our way all the time, but we can try our best to strive towards it anyways. It's the striving that defines us. That makes Liz and I different from anything you have ever seen before. To put it rather simply, the only thing that is powerful enough to quell that almost insatiable hunger for chaos and destruction, quiet the rage that storms on in the confines of my chest is the power of incredible violence. I’d like to think I’ve grown a bit more refined with each day that passes —— I’d like to think so, but my actions beg to differ.

The calm in the middle of a storm doesn't necessarily equal absence of rage. Perhaps it's only a baseline of furious rage that doesn't normally manifest itself until the right kind of stimulus. Being in the silence isn’t so bad, it teaches you things. You learn about yourself and the tolerances that you’re willing to accept. The past month or so has provided me a degree of peace and with that I have been able to find a level where I am comfortable. You may be reading this, probably wondering what in the hell am I talking about, but you see that’s what separates me from the rest. I know who I am and as I have searched deep within my soul, into my heart I stand here now as a more educated individual for I properly know my limits. What are those you ask? I feel like I’ve said that before but now I know it to be true. I have no regard for safety. Not for my own. Not for Chelsea Creed’s. Not for Emmanuelle’s. And not for Liz’s, for I know that we are similar in mind. I have witnessed her rage first hand, I know that if it comes to it, we are both willing to die in that ring.

I have no qualms with Chelsea or Emmanuelle, they’re both stars in their own right. Chelsea is a young up and comer with the kind of fire that mirrors the one I possessed when I first started out in this business and Emmanuelle is a woman I have been almost desperate to get my hands on ever since her name appeared in promotions I work for. For Chelsea and Emmanuelle, what is this match about? For Emmanuelle, perhaps it is a chance to get back on track after losing her championship and as for Chelsea, this is the opportunity for her to prove that she isn’t afraid of the current Next Level Champion and her brutal ways. Those are grand motivations, but they do not compare to that of Alyssa Grace and Liz Karlson. The world may not think much of Liz and I right now, I’ve already seen people attempt to write us off because of how we present ourselves, but it’s only a matter of time before you all realise that what you have is a team far more deranged, powerful and violent than what you’ve seen before. This isn’t about trying to establish dominance over the rest of the division, tag or not, this isn’t about Liz and I trying to right our mistakes, this is about a Genesis. This is nothing more than the fucking prologue of what is to come. It ain’t personal, it’s business. Beautiful and bloody fucking business.

Are any of you familiar with the tall tale of a giant’s quest to catch the sun?

No?

That’s what I thought. Listen real closely, because boy do I have a story for you. Chasing light and warmth is the ultimate pursuit for all humans, but did you know that once upon a time there was a man who took the phrasing a bit too literally? He chased the sun to where it set, and left a shelter there for his inheritors. According to Chinese mythology a god named KuaFu was determined to have a race with the Sun. So, he rushed in the direction of the Sun. Finally, he almost ran neck and neck with the Sun, when he was too thirsty and hot to continue. Then the Yellow River and Wei River came into sight, roaring on. He swooped upon them earnestly and drank the whole river. But he still felt thirsty and hot, thereupon, he marched northward for the lakes in the north of China. Unfortunately, he fell down and died halfway because of thirst. With his fall, down dropped his cane. Then the cane became a stretch of peach, green and lush. And so comes the idiom, KuaFu chased the Sun, which becomes the trope of man's determination and volition against nature and what has been set…..

That the power of incredible violence will create.

Two halves becoming one, rationality and madness.

Chelsea, Emmy, chase the sun, go neck to neck and attempt to collect your glory, run far as your feeble legs will permit you to do so. Give us your best, a valiant effort, something to be proud of. Something you can use to comfort yourselves when you learn that the sun is just a little too fast, that the sun burns just a little too brightly for you to be able to handle, you’ll fall and then only the sun itself will be left, future tag team Champions, Elizabeth Karlson and Alyssa Grace. You can be determined, you can be dangerous, you can be assured, but you will never be what we are - the hungriest. WE are fucking famished. As I look ahead, I see and know what I must do to reach the very top with a woman that I have pledged my loyalty to. I’ve dedicated myself to this cause, to malevolence. This quest that Liz and I have embarked on will not end until we decide the time is right, we call the fucking shots now, not the sycophants of this industry, not the lambs to slaughter Matt Miles has kindly provided or the other warriors who occupy APEX Wrestling. It starts this weekend - fight after fight WE will continue to grow as a team, a unit and sooner rather than later Liz and I will reap the rewards of our hard work. I will embrace and savour the moments of the screams, the pain and suffering so that my past defeats, both here and elsewhere have not been a complete loss.

What Liz and I will do this weekend won’t just serve as a confirmation that all the adversity we’ve unflinchingly put ourselves through has been worth it - but also a mercy killing of those brave enough to doubt us. After all the failures, heartache, suffering, and most importantly the doubt, I absolutely refuse to allow this edition of APEX to descend into a celebration for anyone but myself and my partner. Right now, the voices of those around us are ringing louder than ours, but soon the birds will stop chirping, because Liz and I are going to silence them.