The Comedy Is Over

Posts : 5 Join date : 2022-04-24

[In a spacious, dimly lit dining hall Diantha sits alone. In front of her is a massive feast that is dozens of times more food than one person could eat. Fruits, vegetables, dinner rolls, various entrees and desserts are on display but Diantha hasn’t touched any of it. Instead, the Lioness has opted to nurse a single glass of red wine, her usually sullen eyes with a look of bored disappointment as she stared into the glass. Looking up from the glass, she doesn’t pay any attention to the camera near her seat, simply staring over the food as if she were in deep contemplation about what she was planning to eat first.]

I know that a lot of you may be confused as to why I’ve done what I’ve done. If any of you know me and my history with Azumi Goto you know that it’s nothing that particularly works in my favor. But those of you who have followed my career know that I have come from nothing to become one of the most feared women in the Omega Wrestling Alliance. Twice, I have survived the onslaught of dozens of other women to become winner of the Clash of the Titans Battle Royal. Twice I have held the OWA Women’s World Championship. I was the first to survive the rigors and brutality of the Promethean Chamber.

And even though there are still things that I want to accomplish as I continue to squeeze the very life out of that company, I can’t help but feel a bit of sameness. There are many women still fighting hard there…talented women. Strong women. But none of them are of any true interest to me. There are faces there that I’ve never faced but they all feel like pale, crudely constructed imitations of people that I’ve already vanquished. What is the purpose of playing a game that you’ve already completed and explored all the secret levels of? The only thing that I would consider close to a challenge, worth my time, has decided to rely on the support of the people rather than the otherworldly strength that she was given.

Why have I come to Apex Wrestling then?

You already know the answer.

Hunting is something of a tradition in the rural regions of my home state of Louisiana. It even has the nickname “Sportsman’s Paradise” because of the game and fishing that are to be had. While I myself have never indulged in this, I can empathize with hunters who have grown bored with their hunt. When you hunt deer and they all behave the same, move the same, die the same…where does one find the joy in that? Some may take the joy in killing or cooking what they eat. But some hunters are very much like me: we need more stimulation than the same predictable formula all the time. We need new challenges, new prey, more dangerous and cunning game to hunt to make things like this worth our time. That is why I have chosen Goto as my first target.

When she returned to OWA, she went to another place where I couldn’t get my hands on her just as easily as I have in the glorious confines of Apex. I don’t discredit her decision seeing as she’s become a World Champion yet again, but I do feel a bit cheated to have another playmate who shares my propensity for cruelty. Goto may have some of you fooled and believing that she’s a saint but she is far from that. You all saw the ferocity with which she attacked me once she found out who was stalking her. I’m actually disappointed that it took as long as it did for her to figure it out. I gave her a Diantha Driver. She knows the kind of impact my fists have. Maybe she was just playing stupid until I unmasked….oh well. But with all of this taken into consideration, my priorities, at least in the short term, have changed.

[She takes a small sip of her wine, still studying the glass once she finishes before casually tossing it over her shoulder, the sound of the glass shattering echoing through the otherwise silent room.]

Why I was wasting my time on Gisele’s Truth or Dare shitshow is something I don’t even understand. I would have preferred to go about the business of hunting straight away, but I was invited on this “show” to talk and I did so. But as soon as the show got to be more bothersome than I wanted, I was preparing to leave. As Apex Wrestling’s newest motherly figure I had given little Gisele an allowance…as I was ALLOWING her to keep her front teeth and ALLOWING her to continue to draw breath on this fucking planet.

But she made the absolute worst decision of her life. She tried to attack me from behind. You all saw that particular strategy did not work out in her favor. In fact, if the good samaritan Azumi didn’t save her, I’d probably still be wailing on Gisele at this very second. My match with Goto is already set in stone, but I’ve noticed that Apex has some familiar faces but many many more that I do not recognize. I think that I’ll introduce them to my pro wrestling by ripping Gisele to shreds. Her attitude is fake, her breasts are fake, her wrestling style is artificial. There’s only mild athleticism. No grace. No heart. No malice. Nothing that interests me in the absolute slightest.

So I’m going to destroy her.

Yes. Destroy.

I have no use for pompous, sarcastic beauty queens who care more about breaking a nail than defending themselves. It’s funny…..I’ve grown to loathe the sport of professional wrestling for many different reasons, but I still hold some beliefs, some feelings about it. I believe that between those ropes is no place for foolish segments and pedantic banter. It should be for the killers, the predators, the violent monsters like myself and Azumi. And at Event Horizon, it will be so. But for now I’m stuck with you, Gisele.

And I’m going to peel you apart, slowly, just to satisfy my curiosity as to how much of your body was constructed by a plastic surgeon and how much is naturally you. I wonder if my interest in you can be kindled by your screams, your blood, your desperate and pitiful attempts to fight back from the absolute hell that I’m all but assured of delivering to you. I honestly don’t expect much, but if you give me something I may decide against ripping your head off.

What are you going to do to stop me? Send an angry tweet? Threaten me with a lawsuit?

I know that there’s more for me to do here than this. Of all the powerful, legendary and interesting wrestlers on this roster, I’m forced to put my hands on someone so useless! It makes me want to vomit. Even so, I’m fully prepared for the match and the prospect of Goto attempting to put her hands on me. I know her. I know how petty and belligerent she truly is. She won’t be satisfied until she lays waste to me and stands over me.

And I actually appreciate that.

I almost wish that we could go ahead and have this match now, spare myself the trouble of such a preliminary fight and get straight to why I came to this company in the first place. But then we could be forced to endure Gisele having a microphone near her mouth again and that’s something I certainly don’t want. Those of you who don’t know me, who don’t know who Diantha Rosso is and what she is, please make my match appointment viewing. It will be educational as you all get to see up close and personal what happens when someone dares to cross the Lioness.

There’s nothing else for me to say. Just understand that the landscape of the world has changed, and Azumi Goto is far from the only name on my hitlist. There are students and friends of my worthless, gutless drug addict of a brother here. There are other wrestlers from that “Other Place” who wouldn’t dare ever stand against me there and have come here to glorify themselves and make vanity projects and have vanity championship reigns. I have come here to fuck up everything for everyone here. Especially Azumi Goto.

The comedy is over, and I have the script for the tragedy to befall you all within my fists.

[Diantha shoos off the person recording her speech with a dismissive wave of the hand. The last thing we see before the screen fades to black is Diantha picking out something from the enormous feast in front of her, a massive roasted turkey leg cooked to perfection, and taking a careful bite. Satisfied with the taste, she continues to eat as the picture goes completely dark.]